Mischa Barton Would be the New Lindsay Lohan, if the Current Lindsay Wasn’t Still a Big Mess

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Mischa, Lindsay. Lindsay, Mischa. Seriously, you guys should hang.

According to the NY Post, Mischa was on a three day coke bender before being hospitalized. Her friends were worried about her and called the cops. And you gotta be really bad if even your coke friends think you’re in trouble.

Says Barton’s friend: “She’s running out of money and can’t find love, so now she is looking for a good time to escape her misery. She is on a downward spiral. She is a mess. She is a suicidal, uninsurable mess.”

This is pretty sad all around (but still less sad than had it been somebody who actually had a career to lose, like Natalie Portman or Kate Winslet or something).

But what’s even worse is this vindictive beyotch talking to the New York Post and being a hell of a lot snarkier than she needs to be. “Can’t find love” and “She is a mess. She is a suicidal, uninsurable mess”? Way to rub it in!

Why doesn’t this “friend” just say how she really feels: “Yeah, she’s a mess. A big fat poor mess. And I never liked her on The O.C, either. She also owes me like five hundred bucks. Did I mention she totally borrowed my Fendi bag and never gave it back? Yeah, what a big, washed up trainwreck. We’re such good friends, I’m so worried about her. Hey, remember those cellulite shots from a few months ago? They were funny, weren’t they? Sigh. My poor BFF.”

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