Ashton Kutcher is a Poet, But You Knew That

Ashton Kutcher told Gotham magazine (not Twitter, surprisingly!) the following concerning his wife, Demi Moore:
“You know when you first discovered a hamburger and then you can’t live without it? That’s what it’s like for me with her“.

Listen up, romantics! Flower metaphors, comparing a woman to a summer’s day, all BS! Compare your love for a woman to that of a food item and you’ll melt those panties right off!

Here are some more lines you could try on for size, feel free to whisper them to your sweetheart:

“My love for you is like that of a Fatburger, so much to contain, yet so satisfying.”

“You are as sweet as a Dairy Queen Butterfinger Blizzard, your skin as silky as soft serve ice cream, your hair as flowing as the fountain of Diet Pepsi spilling from the dispenser.”

“You are the side of fries to my hamburger. I am not a complete meal without your lovely fried presence. Your salted body accompanying my savory sandwich.”

Even a haiku-

“when I yearn for you
it is like a hamburger
but less calories”

Quote via Gotham Magazine, via Page Six

More pics of Ashton here!