The Official YouTube Blog just released its list of the most watched videos of 2009. The winner is, duh, Susan Boyle’s Britain’s Got Talent audition. I just re-watched the thing before coming back to write this sentence and I’ll admit, it’s pretty great. Much less great is the #2 video, “David After Dentist,” featuring a zonked-out child struggling to make sense of anesthesia as his father records it and laughs. Child protective services needs to start knocking on the door of anyone who puts a video of their child on YouTube. It’s fine if you do it to your cats. To begin with, there isn’t a worldwide cabal of cat molesters trawling the web for material to get off to, and second, your cat isn’t going to grow up and hate you for cursing it with web infamy. If you want to embarrass your kid, play a DVD of his school choir recital when he has friends over. And don’t do that, either, you sadist.
#3 is that moronic wedding-dance video that, at the very least, inspired a really good Office episode where Pam and Jim’s wedding guests celebrate their matrimony by dancing to the music of a woman-beater. #4 is the New Moon trailer (zzzz) and #5 is this, a commercial for Evian showcasing the latest in CGI dancing-baby effects. It’s pretty creepy, as is anything involving dancing babies (or babies pure and simple, for that matter), but what’s more upsetting is the commercial’s tacit claim that drinking water is somehow responsible for the acrobatic feats you see. You know what every un-athletic, lazy, and old person on the planet has in common? They drink water. Everyone does. I’ll applaud the first bottled water company that runs a campaign exhorting people to drink its product or die.
Also tallied: the year’s most popular music videos. Shocker: the list is 80% good! The only bad song on the list is its #1, Pitbull’s “I Know You Want Me (Calle Ocho)”, but Pitbull is also responsible for one of the best songs of the year, “Krazy,” so it’s easy to overlook. The other four songs are all awesome. Here, let me embed them for you:
#5 is the mind-blowingly fantastic “Knock You Down” by Keri Hilson, with over 35 million views (according to the list), but I don’t see an official video anywhere on the site, so enjoy this video-less fan-upped version with misspelled lyrics galore:
No comments yet.