See, This is Why You Shouldn’t Keep $1 Million Dollars Worth of Jewerly In Your Car

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Also, you shouldn’t own a million dollars worth of jewelry, unless you’re aristocracy, and being king of R&B radio doesn’t count. You listening, Usher?

Usher (or, as every black person except Usher says, “Ursher”), just had a Survivor‘s-first-place-prize worth of shiny rocks stolen from his SUV, so says the rapper via Hip Hop Wired:

Usher says there was over a million dollars worth of jewelry, $50,000 in fur and clothing and about $20,000 worth of cash in the car at the time.

Damn, I can’t believe they copped the brother’s fine, luxurious furs. You know how much glide-dancing went in to buying those silky, classy, fine furs? And 50,000 dollars worth? That’s like, two furs, right there. Maybe only one if it goes past the knees, which is the most distinguished, fanciest kind of fur coat a man can wear. I feel fur you, Usher. I mean for you. No homo.

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