“Do I agree with homosexuality? No, I’m a bible based young man.” – Terrence Howard That’s great to hear, Terrence! The bible is also pro-slavery. Go pick up my dry cleaning and bring it to the Starzlife offices. Wait outside, though, we don’t let slaves upstairs. Good boy. While you’re at, feel free to give […]
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NO NO NO
No. Now please die. Secret Service, if you’re reading this, I’m just asking. Politely, I might add.
Oil Spill Predicted in Florida: Jersey Shore Cast Coming to South Beach
Finally, something important happened today: they released the location for next season’s Jersey Shore: South Beach, Florida. Wait, are they even going to call it Jersey Shore if it shoots in South Beach? Jersey Shore is the most iconic reality show in recent memory. South Beach is a diet. Shout to Movieline for the info: […]
LIL’ WAYNE’S NOT IN JAIL YET!
TMZ is reporting that Lil’ Wayne ain’t locked down just yet. Lil’ Wayne, who eats candy and drinks soda all day, needs oral surgery to repair the soft tooth-like structures barely hanging onto his gums. He’s scheduled to go under the knife on the 12th and will caged after he recovers. Wayne, please come blaze […]
Did You Ever Draw This “S” Thing? Join the Club
As of this posting, a Facebook page dedicated solely to “that ‘S’ thing we all drew in elementary school” has 1,112,532 fans. It got there in ELEVEN DAYS. The page for “I bet we can find 1,000,000 people who support same-sex marriage” has 1,079,699 fans. They were right, but they should have called it “I […]
Important Pizza News for Fatties
You, cheese-eater: forget all that nonsense about Papa John’s having “better ingredients, better pizza.” Domino’s challenged them in court, forcing the chain to admit their slogan was “puffery.” What’s puffery? Watch the video below! (Or you can just have a decent vocabulary.) The choice is clear: if you want great tasting pizza, to be really […]
Lil’ Wayne Bites the Bullet Starting Today
And for you non-prison-slang muahfuckahs, a bullet is a year in jail. Political prisoner Lil’ Wayne begins his unjust year-long stint at Riker’s today. Weezy F. Baby, the Rapper Eater, aka the Best Rapper Alive, is going away on a bullshit weapons charge. He was found in illegal possession of a .40 caliber handgun after […]
?uestlove Speaks on Black Folks Loving Fried Chicken
Let’s put it to bed. ?uestlove has issued his response to the non-controversy surrounding NBC’s offering of fried chicken and collard greens in honor of Black History Month. And now that the blogosphere commentariat has registered its distaste with the silly level of political correctness and needless offense associated with the issue, ?uestlove is sayin’ […]
STARZLIFE PICS: Mark Wahlberg’s Bluetooth Looks Like Madonna’s Stage Mic from 1993
Mark Wahlberg, are you doing telemarketing on the side? Tech support? Coordinating security? Directing a live awards show? Taking drive-thru orders? No, no, no, no, and no, you say? Then get a smaller Bluetooth. Marky Markmarkberg took his family out for some ice cream recently. Starzlife was there. We said hi to our mom right […]
STARZLIFE PICS: Nicky Hilton be Shoppin’! Part 238
Previously on Nicky Hilton be Shoppin‘: Nicky Hilton was shoppin‘! Today on Nicky Hilton be Shoppin‘: she shoppin’! Technically, she walkin’, but you KNOW girl was shoppin’ ten seconds after our camera ran out of batteries.
