Tim Tebow thinks he’s sooo special just because he didn’t get aborted. Big deal! So didn’t everybody! Now, maybe if he had survived an abortion, that would impress me. If they gave ol’ Tebow the heave-ho at four months and he crawled his way back to throw a ball around for a living, that would […]
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Freecreditreport.com: Not
Folks, don’t fall for those freecreditreport.com ads that make it seem like getting a credit report is a free, super-fun, musical way to kick it with your homies. Don’t get me wrong, getting a credit report is a blast, and you’ll want to sing all about it, but it’s not free. Lame. The Huffington Post […]
EXCLUSIVE!!! Audrina Patridge’s Day Job is Hanging Out With Friends and Eating
Nice work if you can get it. Audrina Patridge put in a day at the salt mines recently. She kicked it with her homies at Toast. Starzlife was there. It’s our job.
EXCLUSIVE!!! Maggie Gyllenhaal Aal Daaled Up
It’s Maggie Gyllenhaal! Look at those big brown boots. In this case, “boot cut jeans” means “skinny” because her jeans are tucked into her big boots.
Where Do You Want to See the Jersey Shore Cast Get Punched Next?
Throat? Stomach? Kidneys? Well, I was asking which city, but those are still very good suggestions. As you’re well aware, Jersey Shore is coming back for a second season, without Angelina (yaaay!), in a new location, and MTV is currently conducting a poll asking where magnificent seven should get sent. Fark is asking its readers […]
Rapper Waka Flocka Flame Speaks On Catching a Lead Bumblebee Sting
The Sopranos is the best show of all time, but occasionally something so stupid would happen it would defy credibility, particularly when juxtaposed against what was normally the best writing on television. The three stupidest Sopranos moments: when those two goofballs in season two thought Richie Aprile would appreciate it if they tried to kill […]
STARZLIFE PICS: Melanie Griffith Drives a Bentley, Just Like Juelz Santana
If you’re a famous movie star, isn’t a flossing a Bentley with a vanity license plate of you and your movie star husband’s initials just a tad too much? I understand why rappers do it. It’s to say to the world, “Look just how far from food stamps I am.” Melanie Griffith has been an […]
STARZLIFE PICS: Nicky Hilton Be Shoppin!
Nicky Hilton be shoppin’! Nicky Hilton be shoppin’ bay-bay! You can’t stop Nicky Hilton from shoppin’! And we wouldn’t dare try. Nicky Hilton was did be shoppin’ at what looks like Barneys recently. Starzlife was there. Because Starzlife be photographin’ celebrities! You can’t stop Starzlife from photographin’ celebrities. Because it’s perfectly legal.
Elisabeth Hasselbeck is Stupid, Pt 1
I love watching Elisabeth Hasselbeck get worked up. Hearing this simple, stupid woman’s already-high-pitched voice rise higher as she gets dumber fills me with glee. Forget about the piano playing cat. This is YouTube’s real star. The site’s manifold highlight clips of her getting flustered as she attempts to defend her stupid, stupid opinions are […]
Shocker: Jenny McCarthy Isn’t as Brilliant a Medical Researcher as Previously Thought
I can’t believe this – a report by Dr. Andrew Wakefield published twelve years ago linking the measles-mumps-rubella vaccine to autism has been formally retracted by the medical journal that originally ran it. And here I thought this widely discredited theory propounded solely by crackpots and people who don’t know what science is was as […]
