That’s Charles Manson’s most recent mug shot, but wouldn’t it be great if we were running a paparazzi photo of the guy? And why not? He’s famous. The Smoking Gun has its list of the year’s 20 best mugshots up right now. I won’t spoil #1, but it’s an anti-climax anyway after you see the […]
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STARZLIFE PICS: Catching Up With Eric Dane
When we last saw Eric Dane, he was walking around with a female friend. Now he’s going to get coffee. His pants look like bell bottoms in some of these pictures. Let it go, Dane. The Stone Roses are not getting back together.
STARZLIFE PICS: Lawrence Fishburne Looks Like If Your Grandpa Were Totally Stylin’ And Black
Just because it’s Christmas doesn’t mean you can rock green velvet pants and a salmon sweater. If you can’t pull it off, you’re gong to be the subject of a lot of behind-your-back snickering at the bingo hall. Unless you’re Lawrence Fishburne, M.F.’ers! Look at him, lookin’ all like Iceberg Slim on his way to […]
STARZLIFE PICS: The Governator Stays Cool As California Slips Further Toward Economic Apocalypse
“I know now why you cry. But it is something I can never do. I’m too rich,” said Arnold Schwarzenegger to all the poor Californians. Come on, Arnie, just because you’re the Governor of Caleeforneya doesn’t mean you have to have to dress like a cowboy from the waist down. When Ronald Reagan did that, […]
STARZLIFE PICS: Kate Bosworth Has Differently Colored Eyes, Like an Australian Shepherd or Monster
The heterochromic, stick-thin actress Kate Bosworth went holiday shopping in Los Angeles recently. No photographic evidence of her grocery shopping exists at this time.
BREAKING NEWS: Jessica Simpson Is Not Particularly Intelligent
If you’d like the clean the wax from your ears, try this: nothing. It’ll fall out on its own. Notice how you don’t go completely deaf every three months? The wax dries up as it gets closer to the edge of the canal and falls out in little crumbles. If you’ve really got an excess, […]
Ba Ba Bye-Bye for Howard Stern?
Have you heard Howard Stern lately? Me neither, because like about 300 million other people in this country, I refuse to pay for satellite radio. That’s a problem for a subscriber-based profit model, and particularly when your biggest star has a half-billion dollar contract. Did you know that Sirius has literally never turned a profit? […]
Let Pauly D Learns You Somethin’ About Haih
Thank you, Jersey Shore cast. You make this job so damn easy. It just never ends with you. What am I going to write about between seasons? Silly me, I make it seem like you’ll all just disappear from the headlines. I’m sure at least one of you will drop dead from whatever happens to […]
Turtle Leaves Meadow
It looks like Tony Soprano’s daughter and Vincent Chase’s pet human being are no more. Jamie-Lynn Sigler (in all seriousness, I started to type “Spears”) and Jerry Ferarra (I caught myself before I started typing “Abel”) have reportedly called it quits. Let’s remember the good times, like when this reporter asked Jamie if she would […]
STARZLIFE PICS: Diane Kruger is Straight Up Teutonic, Y’all
This chick dated Pacey from Dawson’s Creek for a while. (A while may also mean “currently.”) She walked around Beverly Hills recently. Starzlife was there. (We work there.)
