Look at the picture with the other guy in it! It looks like they’re holding hands. A less-scrupulous website would use that picture to fabricate a gay love story but we keep it real on Starzlife, and really, why the hell would Mark Wahlberg be dating that guy? He looks like a tall, dark-haired Chris […]
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EXCLUSIVE!!! Kylie Bisutti: Supermodeling Isn’t (Always) Easy
The next time you’re watching America’s Next Top Model and they have one of those challenges that involves modeling in a meat locker or balanced on a log, know that sometimes, those girls really do have to model under strenuous conditions. Well, not those girls, since no one from that show ever becomes a model, […]
Rapper-Hating Pig Files: Juvenile Arrested
“Sir, you look intoxicated, won’t you back that ass up? Your narc-ass neighbors called us, won’t you back that ass up? Now put your hands behind your back and back that ass up. You have the right to remain silent and shut that ass up.” How many times do I have to type “legalize all […]
The Catholic Church Confuses Columbia Pictures with Nietzsche
The Catholic Church’s lawyer, who is probably Jewish like their lord, wants Columbia Pictures to cough up some green for killing Christ on camera in their end-0f-times effects flick 2012: Brazil’s Catholic Church is suing Hollywood for using unauthorized images of Rio’s famous giant Christ statue in its disaster movie blockbuster “2012,” a lawyer involved […]
Ke$ha Croons Karma Poli¢e
This is what you get when you attend the junior high school talent show because you want to get out of fifth and sixth period: a serviceable rendition of one of Radiohead’s three good songs from a future pop star. Here’s Ke$ha at age 13, before she was blonde but probably right around the beginning […]
New Nightclub Dress Code: No Shirt, No Shoes, No Jersey Shore
Republic Nightclub in New Orleans sez: “If It’s On The Jersey Shore, It’s Not Coming Through The Door: No Affliction, No Ed Hardy, No Christian Audigier, No Exceptions” Well, what if Snooki wears head-to-toe Prada? Would that work, or would she be denied entrance because SHE’S on Jersey Shore? By the way, that dress code […]
Hey, Brazil: Lower Your Murder Rate and Stop Worrying About Paris Hilton’s Beer Ads
Paris Hilton‘s new Brazilian ad for Devassa beer features the socialite taking a beer can out of the refrigerator and rubbing it on her dress instead of drinking from it. Well, that sounds about right. Every commercial the girl’s done involves rubbing on or simulating sex with the advertised product. But the totally tame ad, […]
STARZLIFE PICS: Audina Patridge Hair’s Done Did
Hell-o! Audrina, the camera’s in front of you. Stop looking up. Starzlife caught the Hillser on the way out of the salon. Going to the salon is her job, just like scoring coke is Kristen Cavallari’s job. What, you thought these kids got paid for nothing? Audrina’s new boyf, Ryan Cabrera, has been spotted getting […]
STARZLIFE PICS: KKK (Kourtney Kardashian, Kid)
It’s new mommy Kourtney Kardashian! The beau of American Psycho-channeler Scott Disick took new son Mason out for a walk in West Hollywood, draped in the uniform of a Foot Locker employee. Mason’s birth was documented on his mom’s reality show Keeping Up With the Kardashians, and it was the most graphic footage of the […]
LOL: The Losing American Idol Contestants Will Get Played Off to “Leave Right Now”
The song that’ll be playing as the teary-eyed losers watch a sappy montage of their “road to Idol” has been announced: it’s “Leave Right Now,” by O.G. U.K. Idol Will Young. Hey, it’s better than Daniel Powter’s “Bad Day,” but so is falling onto the pit of spikes from when you get upppercutted off the […]
