What a wonderful, loyal, not-particularly-bright girlfriend Cameron Douglas has. Her name is Kelly Sott, and she’s just been arrested for trying to bring her boyfriend a couple dime bags of heroin hidden in the handle of an electronic toothbrush at a Federal courthouse. Kelly. Come on. Did you think the cops wouldn’t look in there? […]
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Guess What C-Murder Just Got Convicted Of
You know that cartoon The Boondocks? Along with Non-Sequitur, it’s the only funny comic strip not drawn by Johnny Ryan. Anyway, when rapper C-Murder first got arrested for murder six years ago, they had a really funny strip where the younger brother screams out, “Hey, C-Murder just got arrested! And you’ll never guess what for!” […]
Here’s Nia Long Practically Naked
Nia Long is the latest celebs to strip down for PETA‘s “I’d Rather Go Naked Than Wear Fur” campaign. There’s no difference, in my opinion, [between fur and] slavery or the Holocaust. It’s just that we’re not dealing with human beings, we’re dealing with animals, but it’s still a living thing.”. – Nia Long Oh […]
And it Had Nothing to Do With Online Petitions: “Arrested Development” Talent Returns to Fox
Remember how annoying it was to tell people you didn’t watch Arrested Development back when it was on? You’d have to endure a lecture about how it was the best show on television and how you’d love it if you only watched a couple episodes – but you had to start at the beginning, because […]
Michael Jackson’s Posthumous Concert Film Set for Appropriate Release Near Halloween
Michael Jackson‘s people are keeping the spirit of his Facebook page alive by putting new notes on it. This one has 7,812 “likes” as of this writing. The most I ever got was 9. (It was when I posted “thank God we still have Gary Glitter” 20 minutes after Michael passed away.) On October 30th, […]
Chris Kattan Doesn’t Understand He’s Not Allowed to Make Fun of Anybody
If you are on Saturday Night Live for seven years and leave without a single fan, you need to quit showbusiness. Chris Kattan, who I thought would have died from malnutrition by now, had the audacity to take a shot a Jeremy Piven when they were both at MTV Studios to tape an episode of […]
Cheech Marin Marries
“I love weed so much I tried to marry Juana” – Lil’ Wayne Cheech Marin, one half of stoner-comedy duo “Cheech and Chong” (he played Cheech), got married to his longtime Russian girlfriend Natasha Rubin over the weekend. The wedding was held at Mr. Marin’s Malibu beach home. Cheech Marin owns both a beach home […]
“I Gave Michael My Sperm” Says Man Claiming Paternity of Paris Jackson
In a jar? In a sock? For Christmas? UK News of the World is quoting Michael Jackson‘s longtime friend and Paris‘s godfather Mark Lester as as saying, “[I] gave Michael my sperm so that he could have kids – and I believe Paris is my daughter.” What and oddly phrased statement – it seems to […]
Not Knowing is Half the Battle: No-Critic Strategy Pays Off for G.I. Joe
G.I. Joe smashed the evil terrorist organization C.R.I.T.I.C. on its opening day with an estimated $22.3 million dollars in ticket sales to 12-year-olds and people who said, “I told you so” when George W. Bush posed in front of the “Mission Accomplished” banner. This puts the film on track to bank $60 million this weekend. […]
Cocaine is a Hell of a Drug, Found in Billy Mays’ Body
There was more than just passionate faith in OxyClean’s restorative powers propelling Billy Mays. The AP is reporting that an autopsy on the passed pitchman has determined cocaine use contributed to the man’s untimely death at age 50. Billy Mays‘ official cause of death is heart disease, but the cocaine is believe to have exacerbated […]
