Blond thespian Jessica Simpson is an expert on acting. Look at her resume – she’s like Meryl Streep! (With just a few less chromosomes.) The Texan twat took to her Twitter this weekend to criticize the CW Show starring her sister, ‘Melrose Place.’ Tweeted Jessi-crap: CW catching up on MP.who writes this crap?i have had […]
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Jessica Wants A Man With Brains
Possibly for a brain transplant but Jessica Simpson is not exactly clear. The bubble-headed bimbo, who once famously questioned if chicken really do live in the sea, revealed to Extra: “I don’t want to get bored. I can bore out pretty easily, so I love intellectual men … people that will always keep me intrigued. […]
Fox and Burger King Apologize to Jessica Simpson
Remember that ad we told you about yesterday that ran during The NFL on Fox about Jessica Simpson’s weight? Well here is the anticipated apology from Fox and BK. “Burger King did not have any editorial input in the creation of the animation that ran last Sunday, and no one from Burger King Corp., approved […]
Did Jessica Simpson Eat Daisy?
Jessica Simpson has the intellect of an interbred mule. The washed-up star has been complaining to anyone who’ll listen about her lost dog, Daisy (AKA “Dances With Coyotes“). All this animal love coming from a Texan bubblehead who has stepped out on more than one occasions wearing a t-shirt proclaiming ‘REAL WOMEN EAT MEAT.’ (A […]
Burger King Rags on Jessica Simpson
This ad aired during last Sunday’s NFL on Fox pre-game segment. It was Burger King’s cartoon centered around the Dallas Cowboys and the once relationship of Tony Romo and Jessica Simpson. Like the rest of us, Burger King went right after Jessica Simpson’s weight. “Man, I still can’t believe Tony dated Jessica Simpson, even AFTER […]
She Can’t Catch a Break!
Sometimes you just want to feel bad for Jessica Simpson. Not a damn thing seems to go her way. First her pup cot snatched up by a coyote, and now she’s getting prank calls saying that little daisy has been found. The hopeless former pop star tweeted; “People have been contacting my family and friends […]
Jessica Simpson’s Lost Dog: Things Are Getting Coyote Ugly
Jessica Simpson has lost her precious Maltese Poodle, “Daisy” and is fliering “LOST DOG!” posters all over town. There’s only one problem. The bubble-headed blonde last saw Daisy in the grips of a coyote. While this story is actually really sad, let me take out my crystal ball and predict that it doesn’t end well. […]
Jessica Simpson Walks the Catwalk (Fortunately Not Chewing Gum at the Same Time)
Jessica Simpson has become a runway model! Well, only for today. The singer modeled a black ruffled halter dress for designer Ozlem Suer‘s runway show in Paris. Fashion models have to compete with singers and actresses for magazine covers all the time, can’t stars leave the runway to actual models? Jessica is a pretty girl, […]
Tony Romo Kicked Jessica to the Curb for Being a Drunk
Why does alcohol produce such a wide range of effects in people? Every other intoxicant is predictable: coke always makes you happy and chatty, speed always makes you wide awake and a better driver, heroin always makes you itchy. No one’s a “sleepy cokehead,” but there are “drowsy drunks,” “happy drunks,” “angry drunks,” and “embarrassing, […]
Jessica Simpson is the New Ashlee Simpson
Poor Jessica Simpson. Reports People, “She feels she’s being judged by the world and opts to hide out at home,” says a Simpson family friend who either can’t keep their mouth shut or isn’t actually a friend at all. “The family feels bad for Jessica. They worry for her a lot.” “The family used to […]
