If Jews are supposed to be such good writers, then why is Anne Frank‘s diary so boring? AND it’s predictable. OK, fine, I admit it. I’m just jealous she wrote a bestseller at 13. The Diary of Anne Frank, already adapted into a stage-play and feature film (and, if you believe a small, vocal group […]
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Chris Kattan Doesn’t Understand He’s Not Allowed to Make Fun of Anybody
If you are on Saturday Night Live for seven years and leave without a single fan, you need to quit showbusiness. Chris Kattan, who I thought would have died from malnutrition by now, had the audacity to take a shot a Jeremy Piven when they were both at MTV Studios to tape an episode of […]
Twilight Author Accused of Plagiarising What Must Be One Crappy Vampire Novel
If you steal, shouldn’t your work be good? “Talent borrows, genius steals,” right? Wouldn’t that mean Stephanie Meyer neither borrows nor steals? The Mormon celibacy-parable scribe is being accused of lifting passages for Breaking Dawn (we didn’t read it – is that the one where Bella campaigns for an amendment banning gay marriage?) from Jordan […]
The Government Noticed That Nic Cage Owes Them $6.2 Million
Folks: you have to just give some of your money to the government. Every year. Without fail. That’s how we have nice things like the DMV and the DEA. Okay, I can understand your frustration. But the next time you try to short Uncle Sam by, oh, say, $6.2 million, remember: that’s how they popped […]
Party’s Over, Michael Jackson Bootleggers; Get Back to Calvin Peeing on Stuff
The AP has a lengthy article (don’t worry, I’ll chop it down into an eighth) today about the explosion in unlicensed Michael Jackson material since the pop star’s passing. “We sold 2,000 T-shirts in the first week. We’re still selling a lot” recounts a giddy rag trade pirate. I bet that guy prays before going […]
Futurama Stars Re-Up! Not Coke, Their Contracts
Previously on Starzlife writes about Futurama, Fox told the original voices to drop dead. In so many words. This week on Starzlife writes about Futurama: it’s cool, j/k, come back, here’s the money! The five “Futurama” cast members — John DiMaggio, Billy West, Katey Sagal, Maurice LaMarche and Tress MacNeille — have just sealed pacts […]
Lindsay’s New Look: Love it or Leave it?
LEAVE IT! LEAVE IT BACK IN THE TRAILER PARK WHERE IT CAME FROM! Lindsay Lohan debuted her new blonde locks the other day, and paired up with this leopard tank, daisy dukes, and trailer trash stripper boots she looks like bad version of Jessica Simpson from Dukes of Hazard. Yes, its bad when you call […]
Matthew Broderick and S.J.P. Near-Victims of Larcenous Fuzz
I’m not one to holler “eff tha police” – I’m not a criminal. But damn. These crooked cops tried to get one over on Carrie Bradshaw and Ferris Beuller. (Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick if you’re nasty.) Two Ohio police chiefs accused of snooping on the surrogate mother for actors Sarah Jessica Parker and […]
Non-Child Abuser Joe Jackson Confirms MJ’s Love Child
Joe Jackson, who, as it turns out, didn’t beat Michael Jackson after all, has dropped another shocking truth-bomb: Omer Bhatti, rumored to be MJ’s love child since scoring a primo seat at the funeral is, in fact, the late singer’s son. In an interview with NewsOne.com (for black America – I’m not being racist, I’m […]
Demi Lovato Dethrones Daughtry to Become This Week’s Most Talented Musician
Demi Lovato dropped at #1 this week with her second album, Here We Go Again. (Demi, I’m as excited as you were when you named it.) Quick, can you name a Demi Lovato song? If you can, you’re checking this post in your school’s library. Because it’s lunchtime and you are 12. Chris Daughtry‘s rawkin’ […]
